Relationships

Identity Chasers

We live in a world where everyone has to be known for something or by someone. We hear things like who are you wearing?, Who are you here with?, What do you do?, or even How did you get to be you? In this world, one is more recognizable through the channels in which they associate, rather than the deeds they have accomplished. These days a celebrity is nothing more than an individual comprised of many identities they have accumulated over time. Is this healthy? No. Will it get you where you want to be? Temporarily yes, long-term No. In the world of social media, the promoter of instant gratification mayhem of masks, you really have to dig deep and do a true analysis on some people to know what you’re connecting to. Now when I say who you are connecting to, this applies to friends, associates, life partners or those being considered for one of the categories mentioned. In the ever changing digital age, we must spend more time knowing WHO the person is versus WHAT they present themselves to be. So how do you know? How can you truly see the inner most makings of a person? How can you decipher what is real versus what is fake? The answer is much easier than you think and is plain as can be. You must be observant. Yep! I said the obvious, be observant. Now as simple as the word is, the error most of us make is we don’t know what to observe. We often try to look at too many things and we miss what is looking us straight in our face. You have to develop a childlike type view when dealing with new people as well as the ones who are currently in your life. To be childlike is to view a person without any excuses associated. When they behave a certain way or say a thing, you take it for what it is. You do not start to analyze nor reason with what happened you just accept it. As you continue your quest to chase true identities and live in truth, try these tactics to uncover what is real: The Imitator – They try on many identities searching for their own. They follow people they think are highly admired and then begin to learn and take on their characteristics so they too can be well liked and accepted. They cannot commit long to anything and if they do it is because of the attention it gives them and the celebrity type status it affords them. This individual will go to great lengths to gain attention and acknowledgement. From posting every move they make on Facebook and Instagram, to even damaging another’s reputation for the sake of making themselves look good. There are no limits to satisfying their urge to be the IT person. They are fun to be around but not the most trustworthy to confide in. Life can be light and carefree with them just take much of what they do and say for face value. The Cyclist – Deja Vu will be felt a lot in the company of this individual for they are very predictable. They carry both good and bad habits that will be seen time and time again with no signs of change. Because of their destruction behavior, you will want to try to help them; but no matter what you do no matter how much they say they appreciate you and want to change, they end up repeating the same cycles. This type of individual can frustrate the mess out of you and drain all your energy if you’re not careful. The best way to handle them is to listen when needed, offer no advice voluntarily and guard your heart by not becoming to attached to them. You have to take a take them or leave them approach until true cycles are broken in their life. This person means no harm they just have not gained enough courage to grow and live beyond their comfort zone and for the goal-oriented type its a poorly matched relationship. The Influencer – A giver of self in all facets. A person who devotes their time, their skills, their knowledge essentially their life for the greater good. The characteristics of this individual is of sound moral values and a walk of great integrity, They are admired by many and inspite of much attention and adoration they are the most humble beings you could ever encounter. You will tend to see a strong faith based core about them and a joy that is unspeakable. It almost appears that nothing could bother them. Even on their worst day they still give a smile and an encouraging word to lift ones day. They are pastor’s, leaders in corporations, pillars of their families and the one everyone seems to go to for sound advice. You gain much wisdom from this type of person and they make you feel as though there is nothing you can’t overcome and push you to be your best. An ideal friend and partner for life. The Manipulator – The beast of all beast in character traits and con artist extraordinaire. They take and take with no regard of how it affects anyone but themselves. This individual comprises all the other character traits listed earlier into one. A multi-talented persona that can will almost anything into existence by learning what makes you tick and using it against you. The strength of this type of person is they know how to befriend many with great charisma and style. It is effortless for them to appear as one thing when truly they are another. An actor at its best putting on an Oscar winning performance. Telling them your deepest darkest fears or dreams is a deadly trap for their prey. For once they have you, its hell to get out of their grips. Blackmail is a major tool in their tool belt. The way to know you are dealing with a manipulator is by watching how they over compliment you and under value others that are around you. If they always “seem” to be so much like you or have so much in common with you or always agree with you with very little opposing thoughts, you just may have a manipulator on your hands. Nothing good comes from being associated with them. Your time with them will always be limited for you only have a purpose in life momentarily until the next best thing comes along to replace you. For your peace of mind and overall health in life period, I advise you to steer clear! As you continue to build healthy peaceful relationships, always remember to see past the masks and look deeper. Don’t identify yourself through other people, identify the self in the people. Much Love Cole