How many times have you found yourself in a spot of betrayal? Said to yourself “I never imagined this would happen” or better yet “I would have never thought they would do such a thing!” These statements and many others are the tails I’ve heard and even said in my years of learning people and building relationships. These very statements are the signs that you have been a victim of an opportunist. You may or may not know what an opportunist is or even how they surface, but I can almost bet that you have been victim to one in some form or another.
So who are these people? An opportunist simply put, is an individual who seizes every opportunity to improve life for themselves. Basically, if it doesn’t help them, they don’t do it. Now, when you think of it this way you would think everyone should spot an opportunist the moment they appear. The only problem with this thought is that an opportunist does not allow themselves to be spotted in plain view. They have crafted a skill and depending on how advanced one is in their opportunistic ways, they can get what they desire and move on to the next without ever being detected. Its rather quite stomach turning to know the depths of how far this personality will go to get what they want. But what’s worse and much more life threatening is if you deny this type of person exists and ignore the signs when it’s happening to you.
Spotting the Loyal Liar
What do they talk about the most with you?
- Influence (fame, recognition, leadership, authority or power)
Above are some trigger topics that you will hear often from many people. But the key to zone in on is what is it that the people around you talk the most to YOU specifically about and do they benefit others as much as themselves or just themselves? The triggers I listed above are common topics that most opportunist will use. If you have something they want, they will repeat that thing every time they are with you until they get it. It can be subtle and often layered in with casual conversation or it can be blatantly done to the point you dismiss it as a joke. No matter how its done, pay close attention to the frequency of it. This will tell you if you have a possible opportunist in your midst.
Is there a pattern in their presence?
- They always seem to have an emergency that needs your assistance
- They take from you but you can hardly count the ways they have given back to you or can be relied on when you are in need
- Around for the good times but never the bad times
- They often make more “I” than “We” statements when collaborating with you on something
- They often tell you what you want or need to hear but with no action tied to it
These are just a few beginning signs that you may encounter with the opportunist in your life. Keep in mind a master manipulator will often be able to hide these signs making it more difficult to pick up on their schemes. One tried and true way of knowing if you are in the presence of an opportunist is the way you feel when they leave you. When a person is adding value to your life you feel empowered to be better. When a person is continuously taking from you, there is a void that remains when they leave you. You feel less energized often down and in some cases of no value to others. An opportunist is like a leach. Once they have made all the withdraws they can make from you, they move on to the more abundant victim, leaving you lifeless, depleted and broken. When you recognize that this person exist in your life, begin taking immediate measures to not only remove them from your life, but learn to recognize early on when this person tries to enter your life and stop them before they can even start the preying process. The value of your life should never be negotiated it should be celebrated! #beintentional #bewise